Delusional? Proper?

I’m so lucky.
Honestly not many people can contain this propensity for absurdity I display and remain so connected to the daily trivialities of existence.
I stay grounded through both the things I’ve attained and the things I am still missing.
And while I associate with few reasonable people I find most to be at least a modicum more reasonable than me.
I’m the most logical poor decision maker you could ever meet. 

I’ll justify that shit in some diluted vision of absurdness and it will almost make sense until you realize what it is I am actually saying. 
My words are sometimes few but the continuity of my mental reflection is propense.  
Sometimes I over articulate in a purposeful way that confuses. Causes the reader to matriculate to a certain state from which they eventually regale in their subjective vision.
Sometimes in inebriation I’m self conscious of my own reflection and sensitivity until I realize these are just words and it’s 4 in the morning.
Sometimes it’s scares me to write and equally scares me to delete even a single sentence of that truth.
In the simplest of terms sometimes I barely even know me, myself, I. 
People are afraid to confront their fears and that’s understandable because most of us can’t even face each other.
People enjoy a quite commonly limited construction of what they perceive to be proper society. 

But the only proper society to which I apply is the one in my mind.

I apply to the complexities I wrestle within me.
So many people put so much focus on external environment like a conglomerate facing organizational or economic change. 
So many people construe their validity to be something that is deemed by external variables or prom queens.

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