Ponder. Wonder

I live my life in a lot of ways from which I don’t profit and from which most people, Simply just don’t get.I tend to exist in a certain directionality that I dont even fully understand. 

So many times I’ve been underestimated because i tend to speak in abstracts. 

But what most people don’t see is that while I might act all that on occasion my real internal vision is completely lacking.

And while there’s truth to the fact that I dress well because my job requires that, 

There is also truth in that it helps to hide my internal battle.
The materialism I display might be partly who I am and what I like,

But to say I didn’t present myself in such a way to hide my pain would be a lie.
To say that i exist in a strictly harmonious sense would be ridiculous.
And while I don’t really feel the same these days, to say I wasn’t shaped from a previous sense of worthlessness would be less than true.
If I’m to be totally honest I spent a long while pondering.

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